Hey so it's not okay to diagnose yourself and others with autism
Especially when you are not qualified to do so, they haven't asked, and your understanding of autism is "person with a hobby".
People on the Internet love diagnosing people with autism.
I’m not talking about an autism professional who has taken their interest in public health online. I mean unqualified people with no education and/or training in autism diagnosis. Their understanding of autism is some romanticized idea of intellectualism, like Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. If they see you being organized, having a hobby, or knowing a lot about a topic, they swoop in to inform you that they see you have “a touch of the ‘tism”.
I see this alllllll the time in comment sections on TikTok and Instagram. But just because it’s common does not make it less okay. You’re allowed to suspect you or someone else might have something. But without an actual diagnosis from a qualified professional, maybe don’t build your identity around it. And if you think someone else has it but you don’t know them, don’t tell them unprompted.
My autistic friend put it this way: “Imagine someone else being autistic as if they were Black. If they are Black and you say ‘hey, you’re Black’, that is weird. They know, you don’t need to say it. If you say ‘You’re Black’, and they’re not, then that is also weird. So just don’t mention that they’re Black. And don’t mention if you think they’re autistic. If they are, who cares? If they’re not, you look like an asshole and an idiot.”
I can’t believe I have to even say this, but if you diagnose people on the Internet with autism: stop. One, you are almost definitely not qualified to identify autism. Two, the person has not solicited your medical opinion. Three, this is a TikTok, and not an appointment where the necessary conditions to gauge autism are in effect.
It’s also rude. Imagine just assigning someone a diagnosis every time something falls within the perimeter of your understanding of medical symptoms.
“I can’t read that sign.” Oh, you must be dyslexic.
“I’m feeling a bit tired today.” You have clinical depression.
“I took my ponytail down, and a bunch of hair fell out.” Definitely alopecia.
Do you see how weird that is? Do you see how disjointed that is? Do you register how inappropriate that is? Not everything is a sign of something, and you definitely aren’t going to be able to properly gauge a neurodevelopmental condition from a person you don’t know.
The diagnosis of strangers is abundant, but there is also a ton of self-diagnosed autism, too. I have seen “autistic (self-diagnosed)” in social media bios!! Someone I have been internet friends with for a long time has a public persona as being autistic, but admitted on her secret Twitter page that she has not actually been formally diagnosed. But she was “pretty sure”. She lives in a country with universal healthcare - it’s no cost to her to find out for sure.
That is crazy. What other medical condition can you just adopt simply to make yourself seem more interesting??
My own philosophy is that everyone wants an E! True Hollywood story. If you grew up struggling, you’ve already done your suffering and want no part of further. But people who grew up happy and comfortable are always looking to sneak a ride on the struggle bus. They want a riveting story of struggle, but don’t actually have one, so they invent one.
We see it all the time - Christians, white people, and men, claiming that they’re persecuted, are famous examples. We all have a rich friend who denies being rich because the Mercedes they park at their $3 million home is five years old. A friend who identifies as clinically depressed because they were sad after a breakup. And now autism has been added to the wheelhouse of “borrowable identities.”
It’s also offensive to people with actual autism and the people who love them to be so flippant about it.
Autism is not inherently this whimsical thing. People can have hobbies and interests simply because it’s normal. Falsely equating normal human behaviour with a medical diagnosis undermines the hardships that people with real autism face.
Also, what is going on in your own life that you see people knowing stuff or engaging in hobbies, and your automatic response is, “This must be something that has a medical diagnosis”? If that’s you, I’m here to let you know that people aren’t unique for having hobbies, interests, and/or extensive knowledge on a topic. You’re the odd and weird one for not having one.